Well, here we are, just another story about my BPolar Madness.
…Hold the phone ☎️.
This is not just another story but another “Chapter” in my long journey towards finding out who I am and why the past was such.
🤪 I know, I know, looking backwards does not help any situation, but for me it helps to put together the pieces that I can remember from when I was as young as 8 years old to the present time.
It has been a wild and 🌬️ turbulent ride this far during the last 52 years, but, but, finally I am on the road to internal peace and happiness even if there are weekly road bumps.
It has been only 8 years since I have been properly diagnosed, and should I say only in the last 3 months have the medications been working in 🙏🏼 harmony with me.
…phew.
But this does not mean that this will continue to be the case.
Being BiPolar 2 came with these chapters in my book.
👉 Chapter 1: BiPolar 2 and its luggage.
👉🏼 Chapter 2: Depression and it’s ugly head.
👉🏽 Chapter 3: Anxiety.
👉🏾 Chapter 4: Pressured Speech.
👉🏽 Chapter 5: Persecutory Delusions.
Chapter 1 to 4 have been covered throughout by RenegadeBPMind Blog.
https://renegaderetailer.blog/category/bipolar-journey/
Chapter 5 is a new one that I have just discovered that opens another door to my understanding and healing.
This one goes by the name of Persecutory Delusions.
📚 Definition:
Persecutory Delusions are persistent, troubling, false beliefs that one is about to be harmed or mistreated by others in some way. These beliefs occur in some people with delusional disorder, a rare mental illness, and cause significant distress, including anxiety, depression, and fear.
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/delusions-persecution
Ahhh… Now I get it, as I have always thought there are those that are planning to get me or to do harm to me, such as in my job or my daily life…..but I have had no proof of this.
Oy Vey.
🤯 This (another) diagnosis hit the nail on the head and added another piece of the puzzle towards completing a masterpiece.
This Chapter is very hard to live with as the thoughts run rampant through my head without control or should I say even reason…..
… but they are still there no matter what I do or even without any proof that these thoughts should exist.
It is so damn tiring, energy exhausting and is an energy zapper, not only towards me, but my friends and my wife Michelle as she has to go listen to this maybe so called Bullshit of a thought process.
👉 Those that know me know that I have been haunted with this affliction for most of my life, but as always and on my continued Mental Health Journey I have finally passed a road sign that directed me towards what this diagnosis is called.
Yay Me 😭.
This Chapter is one that is very hard to control through “another” drug and it will need my 🧠 Big Brain on Brad to be able to go another round in the boxing ring towards this 🎁 Gift I have been given.
So where do I go from here now knowing who my old friend and enemy is?
According to Sun Tzu, this is the best situation I can be in as now I am able to control the outcome.
… I guess that is a positive.
Knowing that this is part of my fabric, I now am able to continue the good fight and find the crack in the foundation of this new diagnosis that will allow me to fight it, not with drugs, but by redirecting my thought process in a different direction.
This will NOT be easy.
Now knowing what I have been haunted by will be something that I have to do if I want to continue forward and fight the good fight.
Listen,
🤜🏻 I have made it this far.
What’s another bump in the road going to do for me now.
🤜 I fight.
I get knocked down 7 times, I get back up 8.
🤜🏽 I have the scars to show where I have been and due to this I have the stories I will be remembered by.
Enough said.
Drop the mic.
🙏🙏🏽🙏🏼 𝗣𝘀: 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗮 ☕ 𝗖𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗲 𝗖𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗰𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗠𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝘆 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀.
Have a PHENOMENAL 🤩 Day.
#thatisall
