It’s Game Time. It’s NOT Over until the Fat Lady Sings.

Push, Push.
Pull, Pull.

I am better than this.
I am bigger than this.
I am stronger than this.

So what am I getting at?
Well, I am not where I want to be in life right now even though I know where I should be.


I will never show you that I am struggling.
I will never let on that I need your help.
I will never stay down for the count.


In my mind I know where I should be.
In my mind I have created a brand that should be getting me somewhere.
In my mind I am one of the most confident people you will ever meet.

It seems at times I can not win this game as my Big Brain will tear down any momentum and put me into a State of Trance.

This State of Trance will bring with it:
👉 Exhaustion.
👉🏼 Extreme Self Doubt.
👉🏻 Anxiety and Panic like I have never seen.

This is all due to my gift of being Bipolar and it’s decision not to pay by my rules or paying the rent for being an outcast living inside my head.

These episodes are common for us Chosen Ones (no, not the Jewish part of me 🤓)..

These episodes are a sign for me that a State of Depression will be rolling in like a thunderstorm at night.

These Depression episodes are micro in nature, as they will go as quickly as they came in, but do they ever leave a mess behind.

This whirlwind will destroy everything I am working on and thinking of.

It will also take me out at the knees and leave me reeling to find my confidence again and again and again.

But I can almost guarantee that you did not notice this as I like to hide this under a cloak of invisibility.

So, why can’t I just snap out of this?

I wish it was that easy as these Micro Depressions as I like to call them do not play by the rules and are shit faced sneaky.

🙏🏻 Listen,
I have made it this far living with this special condition.

🙏 Listen,
I have made it this far hiding it from you.

🙏🏽 Listen,
I may show confidence, but damn it’s not as easy as it appears.

As I continue on this Journey, these speedbumps will always be there but now I have chosen to come swinging with a baseball bat and fight more than ever to get what I deserve.

Yes, this is a lot of downloading.
But what about uploading as to how I get through this?

I will talk it out.
I joke and laugh about it.
I share with others as to how I’m feeling.

I have had enough living with this.

🔥 I am declaring war on this sneaky devil.

🔥 I will NOT continue to let this destroy any more opportunities.

Fuck off Mr. Depression.
Get the Fuck out of my way.
This is my Fucken life.

Now Fuck off once and for all.

Please, as this battle is coming to its crescendo and I am not leaving as it’s NOT OVER until the Fat Lady Sings; and she is no longer employed by me.

If you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip? – Eminem

⭐️ New ⭐️
If you like what you are reading and would like to support my Journey and Madness of a RenegadeRetailer then please feel free to buy me a ☕️ coffee at:    

Have a PHENOMENAL 🤩 Day.

Leave a Reply