Going Backwards to Save my Future.

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All alone in the moonlight
I can smile happy your days (I can dream of the old days)
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
🌟 Barbara Streisand

I have never seen the play or listened to the lyrics of “Memories” but I am living the above on a Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly basis to bring back some normalcy to my life and try to course correct the wrongs I have done in the past.

Not knowing why I was expressing these certain “memory” behavours throughout the last 4 decades has led me on a road to where:

👉 A Smell,
👉 A Taste,
👉 A Sound.
👉 A Song.

….delivered a flashback that 🤯slapped me in the face that brought me back to a point in the past.

When one of the 3 above come to the forefront one of my several ticks (swearing, weird body movement, interesting noises) will come out and play defence; its your turn to figure out which one it is; as these ticks try to protect me from future harm.

I wish Doc Brown from Back to the Future was around to help me out but he is not a connection of mine on LinkedIn.

Yes, the goal in life is to look ahead and forget the past, but these flashbacks come with speedbumps, to which I can accept and manoeuvre around.

Yes, I regret many things I did in the past but I continue to get past them by extracting lessons.

Yes, I would like to correct them as I hurt others, but the past is the past and all I can do is reach out and and have a coffee chat to explain my prior actions as I was not perfect back then or am I now.

But with a BIG B …. life goes on and I know the flashbacks are there to keep me grounded and on my continued MentalHeath Journey.

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Have a PHENOMENAL day.


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