At what Point?

This post will be without a graphic for now as I am mentally exhausted. This is happening more and more week over week and day after day.

I am tired of always worrying about the past, present and future. It is not fair to my family and it is not fair to me anymore. At 51 years old the path to retirement or even saving money to travel and enjoy the finer things in life is narrowing quickly.

No, this is not a cry for help. This is a yell out loud that I question myself every day about all decisions I have made to get me to this point.

It hurts. It burns. It makes me want to vomit. It makes me question my existence.

I am so tired and the runway is getting shorter.

…but writing is so cathartic.

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

#thatisall #mentalhealth #bipolar #mentalwellness #help

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