25 years 3 months and 2 days since I became a credit card pusher; this was not supposed to be my final destination. I didn’t actually have any plans, except for the ones that involved finding ways to tread between manipulating the good, bad and ugly activities of everyday life. Thankfully I never crossed the line, but I did find a Career that played into my strengths. Retail.
Retail is the only game in town that can be compared to a Reality Show, but without the Sexual Tension, Backstabbing, Cheating and Lying.
I promise you this is the last lie I tell you, as RETAIL IS A CESSPOOL OF IT ALL.
Once you think you have seen it all, something pops up, pops out, falls in and fall out. Thank God for my A.D.D; as this plays directly into what my keeps me going….look a Squirrel!
Nope someone just ripping me off again.
Anyways. Its been a long road and adventure to get where I am today…Still a number, but a number who is able to control my stress level, ability to motivate others, work a 45 hour week and come home with a clear head to a bottle of lemon water instead of a bottle of cheapass Smirnoff.
After the stint of pushing credit cards, I had an appetite to learn more about what makes the Human Psyche kick. Hey, if they were willing to listen to a Jewfro, eyeliner, lipstick wearing kid and give me your most personal information, what else could I do, and how do I access it?
I guess I will do what every other kid does at my age….enroll in a Psychology B.A program; that should be an excellent opportunity. Ya, sitting in a classroom with A.D.D, and realizing you are the only one in class playing a Gameboy alongside shaking my leg so aggressively that my desk was moving ; as you could have guessed that didn’t last too long.
So not to disappoint my parents, I pretended to leave for school every morning and I started looking for a new Career Opportunity that would satisfy my needs for being kept busy, a bit of showmanship and and change.
Please remember that word change as throughout this trip you will see a lot of it, sometimes it will be evident as to why and other times it will smack in me directly in the face, like a jar of vaseline with crushed walnuts and a covering of fat free chocolate frosting.
Time out. At this time I feel I need to rewind a couple of steps and apologize because all you know about me is that I am a Jewfro, Credit Card, A.D.D and well Educated Hustler; but there was more to me at that moment. I had a Rabbit named Uncle Herman, an infinity for Frankie Goes to Hollywood owned a Hyundai Pony and was just hired at a Pet Store.
What does this all equate to?
Absolutely nothing or actually something if you consider cleaning shit out of animal cages a positive career choice….and believe me this is where the tire hits the road….and my life begins.
Have a PHENOMENAL day.